Tips.

Here's a good set of tips to remember when you're out buying yourself a new set of garments to dress yourself in;

1. Never buy Superdry brand garments, they're horrible and you'll look like a right arsehole when wearing them.

2. If you're not able to find garments for the lower part of your body (a.k.a trousers, pants) you could turn the garment's used for upper body purposes (a.k.a sweaters, t-shirts) upside down. Legs fit perfectly inside arm sleeves. And hey presto! A trendy new pair of saggy crotched shorts with a ventilation hole for those hot, hazy summer days.

3. If you approaching 40 try double denim; a light washed denim shirt with light washed denim jeans, favourably tucked in. It's a killer look but hard to pull off at any other age.

4. When in the changing room trying on new slacks always remember to keep your underwear on. It is, for some reason, inappropriate to wear clothes that yet belong to you with no under layers covering your genitalia.

5. Women always date men on how distingished they look. When buying clothes for the initial meeting with a lady you are courting make sure to buy some sort of official looking hat. This could be; a sea captain's cap, a foreman's hard helmet or sheriff's starred stetsons.